Thankful for Haven!

Thank you Lord for my sweet Haven Annabelle!  I am feeling more blessed than ever to have her in my arms! 

We had a very scary situation on Thursday morning.  I have been watching a friend's son for a couple of weeks and I was upstairs changing Haven's diaper when I heard the doorbell ring.  I didn't want to make my friend and her son wait in the cold so I hurried and finished and then quickly ran down the stairs while carrying Haven.  I got about 5 stairs from the bottom and somehow fell.  My chest hit the corner of the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs.  I still had my arm around Haven's lower body but lost my hold on her upper body.  As I fell forward she hit her head on the corner of one of the banisters and on the stair.  She cried for a second and I thought she was doing the thing when babies cry where they take a long breath before they wail again.  I was holding her close and as I quickly opened the front door for my friend her upper body completely flopped forward and I realized that something was wrong.  I held her up and she was unconscious.  I screamed for my friend to call 911 and I started yelling Haven's name and tried to get her to wake up.  The 911 dispatcher told me to put her on the floor and at this time she was awake but not responding at all.  I had to keep stimulating her to keep her awake.  This went on for about 5 minutes or so and she FINALLY started crying and became very agitated.  A few minutes later the EMTs arrived in an ambulance.  Within a few more minutes there were about 10 people in my living room.  She was starting to come around and was scared of all of the people, which was good.  They wanted to take her to the hospital by ambulance because she had been unconscious and and unresponsive for so long.  They put her on a stretcher (broke my heart to see my little baby all strapped down!) and I rode with her to the hospital.  I finally got a hold of Adam and filled him in.  He met us at the hospital.  By the time we got there Haven was doing much better and starting to act like herself!  They did a bunch of tests and a Cat scan and everything came back normal!  While we were in the hospital she was having fun watching IPTV, playing with toys, and cuddling with mommy.  Once we were discharged we were all phsically and emotionally exhausted!  Haven did really well the rest of the day and was just very tired and a little fussy.  Since then, she has been doing wonderful and acting pretty much back to her old self!  It was such a scary scary ordeal, but the Lord really protected all of us and we were very fortunate that it wasn't worse!

The last couple of days I have been wrestling with myself.  I know that it was an accident but in many ways I feel like I failed at my most important job, which is to keep Haven healthy and safe.  I also have struggled with envisioning Haven in her unconscious state everytime I have nothing else to think about or whenever I close my eyes.  I have been praying that the Lord would just give me peace with this situation and that I wouldn't let my emotions overtake what I know and what I know is that I love Haven more than I could ever imagine loving a child, I have always done my best to take care of her, this whole situation was an accident, and that the Lord is so gracious and merciful as well as faithful in taking care of us and keeping us safe!  Today I have truly felt much better about everything and I have a true sense of peace; peace that I believe can only come from Him.  Thank the Lord that he is so faithful in answering our prayers! 


"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."  Psalm 4:1

"I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer."  Psalm 17:6